The Other Woman(?)

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This morning while in the shower, I was ruminating about my blog and the personal information I shared.  I would like to say that normally I do not like to air my dirty laundry, and after doing so was a wee bit worried as to the type of feedback I would receive. To my surprise, all of the feedback was positive and it was interesting to hear your perspective and/or feelings on the matter.  I certainly didn’t expect to receive so many supportive comments on and off-line.  It would seem, when it comes to matters of the heart, we have all at one time or another *been there*.

Annnnnnnnyway, it occurred to me that we women have a tendency to lash out at other women, whether justified or not, especially if it pertains to a love triangle situation.  I’m not saying this is right or wrong, I’m just stating a fact – we seem to want to blame our own sex, rather than hold the opposite sex accountable.

For example, as previously mentioned, I believe back when my Ex-Husband (heretofore: ExH) and I first began to date,  he never *officially* ended his relationship with his previous girlfriend — let’s call her Mindy (btw, to avoid any confusion, they were never married. However, because I am now divorced from this man, I refer to him, in this post as the ExH).  When I met my now ExH, he told me he had just “…ended a seven-year relationship”.   Apparently, the reason their seven year relationship ended is because Mindy had asked him to move out while she was leaving for a trip to Egypt.  The ExH obliged and moved out (natch!).  Evidently, because Mindy had asked the ExH to move out, he in turn interpreted “I want you to move out” as “I’m giving you your walking papers”.  I do not believe that was Mindy’s intent. I believe this was her passive-aggressive way of making him shit or get off the pot.  Then again, maybe she wanted to break up. Who knows. Either way, the ExH took that to mean he is a free man.  According to the ExH, he and I didn’t start to date until maybe a month or two +/- after he and Mindy broke up.  So how did we meet? He and I met in a Continuing-Ed class.

Like the ExH, I too had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship (and was not looking to date anyone).   I will say, the ExH was pretty persistent and did not take *no* for an answer.  We began to date and the ExH proceeds to tell me about how Mindy cheated on him (allegedly) with some guy he called “The Ricker” as well as some guy she worked named Mickey and this was the reason why, after seven long years together, he never married her.  I mean, one would think that after seven years, a marriage proposal would have ensued.  Right? Like the gullible fool that I was, I took the ExH’s word because why would he lie to me????

Not long after ExH and I were dating, Mindy tried everything in her power to break us up (without she or I understanding that some men love to create a triangulation situation). The Coup de Grace was when Mindy took an email I had sent her and mailed copies to everyone in his family.  I believe Mindy’s intent was to expose me as the anti-Christ.   During that time, the ExH was seeing a therapist named Lance.  He told Lance what had happened and Lance told him, “…if she was the nicest person in the world she wouldn’t have done that. Can’t you see she’s trying to break you two up? Nice people do not behave that way.”  The ExH had to hear that statement from Lance in order to understand that I wasn’t the bad guy in this triangulation scenario.  Yes I was wrong for sending that email. I was trying to control a situation that was untenable. It wasn’t my responsibility to do so, it was the ExH’s. He should have taken the bull by the horns, sat down with Mindy and had a conversation to explain that it’s over and she needs to move on.  In a perfect world, this is how it should have played out but owning his shit, isn’t the ExH’s strong suit.

Looking back, I often wonder if Mindy regrets sending that email of if she feels even remotely foolish about it.


It took me quite a while, but eventually I connected the dots and figured out that the ExH had lied about his situation with Mindy.  Well maybe lie is a bit harsh, he wasn’t giving me the whole truth.   What I came to realize is, Mindy never received the *closure* she so needed in order to move on – you know, a Declaration of Hate.  I mean, we all want a Declaration of Hate when someone dumps us. Am I right?  Unfortunately, men don’t take the time to end things, not really.  To that end, instead of targeting her anger at the ExH for not giving her the closure she so desperately needed, Mindy channeled all her hostility and aggression towards me.  She acted like I stole the ExH from her when I had done nothing of the sort.   Mindy viewed me as the enemy rather than realizing A.) she needs to *own* the role she played (asking him to move out); and B.) It was the ExH who caused her pain because he refused to give her closure.  She also failed to realize that one who has caused her pain cannot cure her pain.

Eventually Mindy got over it and moved on, or has she?…

The fact is last year (2012), Mindy Google’d the ExH (in search of his telephone number), in order to contact him leads me to believe (as previously stated) that she still does not see the ExH for who he is: an Ex Boyfriend who is no longer in her life.  Truth be told, I have never had any desire to look up and make contact with any of my Ex boyfriends — never!  They are in my rear view for a reason, the past is the past, why resurrect it?

I often wonder why Mindy felt/feels the need to reach out to the Ex.  My guess is, she wants to show him how “great her life is” how she’s moved on and no longer thinks of him, when in fact, clearly she still does for otherwise she would not have Googled him.  Not long ago first publishing this post on July 2013, I ran into someone who told me that my Ex (the one I dated for five years before meeting the ExH) is married with kids and I absolutely could have cared less.  In fact, I believe my response was, “Oh, that’s nice.” Pffft! To that end, I have never felt any compulsion to look him up and make contact.

Know this: the entire time the ExH and I were dating, Mindy acted as though I was the reason she and the ExH broke up, as if I had *broken them up*.  The fact of the matter is I did nothing of the sort.  In this scenario, the ExH was the liar, deceiver and manipulator – he lied to me and Mindy as well as manipulated a situation so that he looked like the innocent party.  Furthermore, as far as I can tell, Mindy has never owned her shit in all of this. I mean, asking your boyfriend to move out in hopes he’ll pop the question and present you with a ring is a fools errand.

The ExH and I wed August 2002 and eventually Mindy backed off and faded into the ether (sort of), until…. Mindy took an opportunity to stir up some shit.

Allow me to give you the back story first:  One evening back in November 2005, (make note of this date) while my then husband was picking up a pizza at his favorite pizza joint, he ran into Mindy’s father, who just so happened to be on the phone in the parking lot, speaking with, you guessed it, his daughter Mindy. When Mindy’s father told her who was standing in front of him, she must have said, “hand the phone over to him” to which Mindy’s father did.  My then husband got on the phone and the first thing out of Mindy’s immature mouth is that I swore at and threatened [her] husband. [ should probably mention that Mindy ended up marrying Mickey, the dude my ExH suspect she was cheating on him with. But I digress…]


Confused, my ExH said, “I don’t know anything this.”

The truth of the matter is, back in December 2004, Mindy found my ExH’s business phone number (which was a new # not an existing # that she would have known) and left a VM message wishing him a Merry Christmas.

Why? I have no idea.

In her message she stated that *she* felt enough time had passed and that it was ok to call.  Really Mindy? You get to decide when it’s ok to make contact?

When the ExH played the message for me, I couldn’t understand, for the life of me, WHY Mindy felt the need to call and wish him a Merry Christmas. Who the hell was SHE to decide it was ok to call?!?!  After I heard that message, I took it upon myself to Google her husband to find his telephone number so as to call him. As luck would have it, I found his business telephone number. I called the number and left him a voice mail. In the message I told him about how his wife Mindy had left a VM for my husband. I explained that I could not understand why she called and would he please ask her to stop bothering my husband.

Swear at him?

Ah no.

Threaten him?

LOL! Um, no. Not even close.

Flash forward to November 2005 at the pizza joint.  The fact that Mindy felt compelled to tell my ExH almost a year later that I called her husband is very telling.

I called Mindy’s husband in December 2004. The ExH runs into Mindy’s father almost a year later (November 2005) and the first thing out of Mindy’s mouth is that?! Really??? Srsly???  Clearly,  Mindy was still festering about it. No doubt because her husband probably had no idea that she reached out to her Ex-boyfriend/my husband.


Almost and entire year transpired and she couldn’t wait to stir up trouble.

Immature much? Yah, me thinks so.

She no doubt fed her husband a pile of lies in order to try and cover her ass and save face, rather than just own it.

Looking back, Mindy and the whole scenario makes me laugh my ass off.  I should have run as fast as I could from this entire situation and these two liars as they are/were more alike than either realized.

But it’s ancient history dear readers, ancient history.

IMHO, I think Mindy and I should sit down and have a cup of coffee to hash out all this ancient history but that will never happen.  Suffice it to say, for the past however many years, Mindy and I have had between us, some invisible school yard battle, which was created by the ExH.  The lies he fed her. The lies he fed me – all the while he sat back and enjoyed the show.   I should probably mention that this is a classic trait of a Sociopath – at least this is what I have learned thus far.  At the time I first wrote this post (July 30, 2013) and have consequently edited,  I was reading: How to Spot A Dangerous Man and I gotta tell ya, I can see soooooooooooooooooo much of my Ex, in this book that sometimes I literally lose my breath reading passages on the train.  Know this: Sociopaths are deft at pulling the wool over their victim’s eyes – making their victim believe that THEY (the Sociopath) are the real victim.

I have no doubt that when Mindy learned of our divorce, she probably danced a little jig in her kitchen.  Which also makes me laugh.  She might be happy over the fact that the ExH and I are divorced but I wouldn’t want her life or the foundation her marriage is built on (read: lies) for all the money in the world.  No thanks. I’ll take divorced all day any day over her perceived “perfect life”.


The initial inspiration for this post (and I admit I’ve driven off course) is why do women always seem to attack the other woman?

When Brad Pitt started openly seeing Angelina Jolie, people (well women) began trashing Angelina, accusing her of being a “home wrecker” “a whore” and a whole host of other not so nice adjectives.  The tabloid press was having a field day with the news story and a Hollywood retail shop created Team Anniston and Team Jolie T-shirts. While all of this was happening, I couldn’t help but ask, “Where is Brad in all of this??????” Why is Angelina forced to wear the Scarlet Letter while Brad is given a get out of jail for free card?   Didn’t Brad play a role in the demise of his marriage?  Didn’t Brad cheat on Jen? Didn’t he basically start a new relationship before ending his marriage????  Did I fall down and smack my head on the pavement and miss something????????

So ladies, I ask you, what is going on here? Is this good ole fashioned Patriarchy at work? Is our culture still programmed to view the other woman as the home wrecker even when she may not be? None of us knows what Brad told Angelina – the man is clearly a narcissist, at least on some level.  He saw something. He wanted it and he went after it, meanwhile, discarding Jennifer for whatever reason(s) only he will ever know.  Personally,  I have always been of the school of thought that you cannot steal something that does not want to be stolen (assuming Angelina had in fact stolen Brad which I am not assuming at all).  IMHO, if Brad was truly happy and in love with Jen, there isn’t anything Angelina or any other woman could have done to pull him away.  More often than not, people cheat, leave (or both) because they are unhappy – even if that unhappiness lives in their own mind, and unfortunately the one who has been cheated on (and dumped) is left picking up the pieces, trying to understand why the perpetrator never gave them the courtesy of a heart-to-heart talk.  Had the ExH sat down with Mindy and said, “Is my moving out to mean we are breaking up?”  Or “If I move out, we are through and I am going to start dating.” (Assuming this is even the truth of how it happened.)   At the very least, Mindy would have had time to process what was happening.  Had the ExH been honest with me, I would be in a different head space right now. Instead, I had to find out the truth, post-divorce about his woman I affectionately refer to as, “Cunning B”. 

Why do people, women especially, feel the need to attack the other woman? Even now, with all I know about the ExH and “cunning B”, I have no desire to attack her.  She’s not my target, even if I dislike her for  what she wrote in that email to me.  The ExH is and will always be the target of my anger and hate. The ExH should be held accountable for his actions.  Lord only knows what bullshit the ExH fed Cunning B while he and I were still married – the lies and stories he probably fed her so as to ease his mind and justify his behavior.  I guess what I am trying to say is: don’t assume the other woman is 100% at fault as she may be going on the lies that were fed to her, e.g., I’m divorced. I’m separated, etc…none of which is the truth. I’m sure the ExH fed Cunning B a whole bucket full of lies… at least in the beginning…in the end, they both had a moral obligation to be honest with me and I certainly did NOT deserve her deception as clearly outlined in her email to me.

Now, before I close this post I would like to mention that I do not believe 100% blame belongs in the ExH’s lap.  I am a firm believer that even if 98% is the fault of the other person, 2% is still yours and you have to own it – to that end, I own what is mine.  I am not saying my marriage was perfect because it wasn’t. But I didn’t deserve to be lied to, deceived and/or cheated on because NO ONE deserves that.   I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.  The ExH and I took a vow. He could have at the very least been honest with me. Unfortunately, when you’re dealing with a pathological liar, honesty lives outside the realm of their world.  It is what it is.



This post was originally written: July 30, 2013 and edited on September 4, 2015  Why? I can’t say, other than I have some down time at work and my ExH and I have been clearing the air about many things that transpired during our time together, agreeing on the fact we handled many things very poorly, each owning what is ours.


10 Signs That You Are Dating A Sociopath

If your new romantic interest exhibits all or most of the following behaviors, be careful. He or she might be a sociopath.

1. Charisma and charm. They’re smooth talkers, always have an answer, never miss a beat. They seem to be very exciting.

2. Enormous ego. They act like the smartest, richest or most successful people around. They may actually come out and tell you that.

3. Love bombing. You’re showered with attention and adoration. They want to be with you all the time. They call, text and e-mail constantly.

4. Jekyll and Hyde personality. One minute they love you; the next minute they hate you. Their personality changes like flipping a switch.

5. Blame others. Nothing is ever their fault. They always have an excuse. Someone else causes their problems.

6. Lies and gaps in the story. You ask questions, and the answers are vague. They tell stupid lies. They tell outrageous lies. They lie when they’d make out better telling the truth.

7. Intense eye contact. Call it the predatory stare. If you get a chill down your spine when they look at you, pay attention.

8. Move fast. They quickly proclaim that you’re their true love and soul mate. They want to move in together or get married quickly.

9. Pity play. They appeal to your sympathy. They want you to feel sorry for their abusive childhood, psychotic ex, incurable disease or financial setbacks.

10. Sexual magnetism. If you feel intense attraction, if your physical relationship is unbelievable, it may be their excess testosterone.


Old McChina Had a Farm

Fight for Rhinos

If you needed a way to get milk, but weren’t allowed to legally purchase it, what would you do? Why-buy the cow of course!milking the rhino

This is essentially what China has done with the rhino. To get around CITES, and the illegal trade of rhino horn, they have started rhino farming.

In 2011, TIME magazine reported China’s initial undertaking of establishing a breeding colony of African Rhinos in order to harvest horn. Their investigation found that a Chinese arms company – the Hawk Group –  had imported 60 rhino from South Africa to a park called Africa View in the Hainan Province of China. (This was a year AFTER China assured CITES they had no intention of farming rhinos.)

They also found the subsidiary company had developed a device that could scrape rhino horn. Plans were in place to produce 500,000 detox pills made from rhino horn. Projected sales from the rhino…

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The Top 5 Reasons to Walk Away from all TEXTBOOK Sociopaths

Love. Life. OM. Blog

walking away

There seems to be a growing trend of sociopaths “coming out” on blogs, message boards and even in real-world environments. More often than not, the sociopath slips into an already comment-heavy post or string of victims and survivors with a seemingly harmless comment like this:

Hi, my name is Johnny, and I’m a sociopath. I’m not here to convince you that you’re wrong about sociopaths. I’d like to help you understand us better. Ask me anything you want to know. I’ll even give you my personal e-mail address.

What have I learned to do when this happens on a post I am actively commenting? I have learned to ignore and keep moving. Hopefully, the following five reasons will influence you NOT to begin any type of engagement with a sociopath, no matter how tempting and curious you may be:

1.) Do not engage a sociopath. Period.

If someone comments on…

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San Diego Fur Shop, Owner’s & Manager’s Residences Sabotaged by ALF

Earth First! Newswire

from North American Animal Liberation Press Office


July 21, 2013

Received Anonymously:

In the early morning hours of July 16, 2013, anarchists in San Diego took action on behalf of the millions of fur-bearing animals who are trapped, enslaved, and killed to sustain the global fur industry.

We first visited Furs By Graf at 7670 Claremont Mesa Boulevard in the Claremont neighborhood. Every single piece of plate glass on this hideous enterprise was soaked in glass etching solution. The exterior of the store was covered in red spray painted slogans. Bottles of foul smelling butyric acid were sprayed into the interior, leaving this place of commerce smelling like death; identical to the odor present on every fur farm. We hope this is a costly clean up, and serves to drive away all patronage.

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People to Know: Fur-Bearer Defenders

the vegan sprout

The Association for the Protection of Fur-Bearing Animals, (APFA) is one of the oldest animal advocacy groups in Canada. Founded in the 30’s with a goal to promote humanely obtained furs and the development of humane traps, by the 70’s the association had begun to steer course in a different direction by opposing the commercial fur industry altogether. No longer believing in the possibility of ‘humane traps’, APFA now focuses on putting an end to the fashion fur trade in its entirety.

Managed by a volunteer board of directors, (many of whom have been involved with APFA for decades), the association’s main objectives are to abolish the commercial fur trade, to ban the import and sale of domestic dog and cat fur in Canada, and to create opportunities to co-exist with urban wildlife. Through their video footage, they were the first group to expose the Canadian fur trade and…

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A Post Worth Reposting: Philip Wollen, Philanthropist & Animal Rights Activist

Below is a speech transcript by a particularly awesome animal rights activist who I admire greatly.  His name is Philip Wollen. He is the former VP of Citibank and is an Australian philanthropist.  I extracted this speech from FreeFromHarm



King Lear, late at night on the cliffs asks the blind Earl of Gloucester “How do you see the world?”

And the blind man Gloucester replies “I see it feelingly”.

Shouldn’t we all?

Animals must be off the menu because tonight they are screaming in terror in the slaughterhouse, in crates, and cages. Vile ignoble gulags of despair.
I heard the screams of my dying father as his body was ravaged by the cancer that killed him. And I realized I had heard these screams before.
In the slaughterhouse, eyes stabbed out and tendons slashed, on the cattle ships to the Middle East and the dying mother whale as a Japanese harpoon explodes in her brain as she calls out to her calf.
Their cries were the cries of my father.
I discovered when we suffer, we suffer as equals.
And in their capacity to suffer, a dog is a pig is a bear. . . . . . is a boy.
Meat is the new asbestos – more murderous than tobacco.

CO2, Methane, and Nitrous Oxide from the livestock industry are killing our oceans with acidic, hypoxic Dead Zones.
90% of small fish are ground into pellets to feed livestock.
Vegetarian cows are now the world’s largest ocean predator.
The oceans are dying in our time. By 2048 all our fisheries will be dead. The lungs and the arteries of the earth.

Billions of bouncy little chicks are ground up alive simply because they are male.
Only 100 billion people have ever lived. 7 billion alive today. And we torture and kill 2 billion animals every week.
10,000 entire species are wiped out every year because of the actions of one species.

We are now facing the 6th mass extinction in cosmological history.
If any other organism did this a biologist would call it a virus.
It is a crime against humanity of unimaginable proportions.

The world has changed.  
10 years ago Twitter was a bird sound, www was a stuck keyboard, Cloud was in the sky, 4 g was a parking place, Google was a baby burp, Skype was a typo and Al Kider was my plumber.
Victor Hugo said “there is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come”.

Animal Rights is now the greatest Social Justice issue since the abolition of slavery.
There are over 600 million vegetarians in the world. That is bigger than the US, England, France, Germany, Spain, Italy, Canada, Australia combined! If we were one nation we would be bigger than the 27 countries in the European Union!!

Despite this massive footprint, we are still drowned out by the raucous huntin’, shootin’, killin’ cartels who believe that violence is the answer – when it shouldn’t even be a question.
Meat is a killing industry – animals, us and our economies.

Medicare has already bankrupted the US. They will need $8 trillion invested in Treasury bills just to pay the interest. It has precisely zero!!
They could shut every school, army, navy, air force, and Marines, the FBI and CIA – and they still won’t be able to pay for it.

Cornell and Harvard say’s that the optimum amount of meat for a healthy diet is precisely ZERO.

Water is the new oil. Nations will soon be going to war for it. Underground aquifers that took millions of years to fill are running dry. It takes 50,000 litres of water to produce one kilo of beef. 1 billion people today are hungry. 20 million people will die from malnutrition. Cutting meat by only 10% will feed 100 million people. Eliminating meat will end starvation forever.

If everyone ate a Western diet, we would need 2 Planet Earths to feed them. We only have one. And she is dying.

Greenhouse gas from livestock is 50% more than transport . . . . . planes, trains, trucks, cars, and ships.

Poor countries sell their grain to the West while their own children starve in their arms. And we feed it to livestock. So we can eat a steak? Am I the only one who sees this as a crime? Every morsel of meat we eat is slapping the tear-stained face of a starving child. When I look into her eyes, should I be silent?

The earth can produce enough for everyone’s need. But not enough for everyone’s greed.

We are facing the perfect storm.

If any nation had developed weapons that could wreak such havoc on the planet, we would launch a pre-emptive military strike and bomb it into the Bronze Age.
But it is not a rogue state. It is an industry. The good news is we don’t have to bomb it. We can just stop buying it. George Bush was wrong. The Axis of Evil doesn’t run through Iraq, or Iran or North Korea. It runs through our dining tables. Weapons of Mass Destruction are our knives and forks.

This is the Swiss Army Knife of the future – it solves our environmental, water, health problems and ends cruelty forever.

The Stone Age didn’t end because we ran out of stones. This cruel industry will end because we run out of excuses.

Meat is like 1 and 2 cent coins. It costs more to make than it is worth.
And farmers are the ones with the most to gain. Farming won’t end. It would boom. Only the product line would change. Farmers would make so much money they wouldn’t even bother counting it. Governments will love us. New industries would emerge and flourish. Health insurance premiums would plummet. Hospital waiting lists would disappear. Hell “We’d be so healthy; we’d have to shoot someone just to start a cemetery!” So tonight I have 2 Challenges for the opposition:

1.)  Meat causes a wide range of cancers and heart disease. Will they name one disease caused by a vegetarian diet?

2.) I am funding the Earthlings trilogy. If the opposition is so sure of their ground, I challenge them to send the Earthlings DVD to all their colleagues and customers. Go on I DARE YOU.

Animals are not just other species. They are other nations. And we murder them at our peril.

The peace map is drawn on a menu. Peace is not just the absence of war. It is the presence of Justice. Justice must be blind to race, colour, religion or species. If she is not blind, she will be a weapon of terror. And there is unimaginable terror in those ghastly Guantanamos.

If slaughterhouses had glass walls, we wouldn’t need this debate.

I believe another world is possible.

On a quiet night, I can hear her breathing.

Let’s get the animals off the menu and out of these torture chambers.
Please vote tonight for those who have no voice.

Thank you.



Canadian Ambassador BSes Way Through International Seal Products Meeting

Earth First! Newswire

By Trashy / Earth First! Newswire

Guy Saint-Jacques, Canada’s ambassador to China, was called to task on Tuesday by an international group of animal welfare advocates. The meeting of Chinese experts, NGOs, and individuals was meant to open a dialogue between Canada and the rest of the world, which views its seal hunt as outrageous and cruel. The Canadian ambassador had other plans.

Canada’s horrible seal products industry is the source of international condemnation, as around 400,000 baby seals are clubbed each year. The instrument of slaughter is typically the hakapik, a long, thick club with sharp spikes at the end. The baby seals suffer terribly, and are often skinned alive.

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Oh, boy! The sociopath went and got hitched! Lower the curtain on the drama once and for all.

Love. Life. OM. Blog

red curtain

You just found out the sociopath has a new girlfriend, a new soul mate. To top it off, he married her!

Your first reaction is to be pissed and angry. I understand where your anger is coming from. But as you work through your emotions, there are a few things you need to keep in mind:

Sociopaths CAN NOT be alone. They must always have someone or something to control. To them, the ultimate is to use people to control other people. He’s using his relationship to control your emotions and to play with your mind. And he is loving every second of your pain.

Do you really care that he is in a new relationship? Do you want to be in a relationship with him? Are you jealous of her?

NO! Of course you answered “no” to all of these.

Your anger is coming from your ego. You are pissed…

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Ag-gag Marineland

First Light Productions

Former Marineland of Canada animal trainer Phil Demers worked at Marineland Ontario for 12 years.

    He was one of eight initial whistleblowers—since grown in number to 15—who told the Toronto Star newspaper last August that poor water conditions at the park had caused blindness and other health problems among seals, sea lions and dolphins.

    After speaking out, Demers and fellow-trainer Christine Santos were sued by Marineland owner John Holer for $1.5 million for voicing their concerns for the animals’ well-being.

    In a recent interview Demers describes conditions at Marineland that are essentially torturing the park’s animals.

    To follow the story and contribute to the cause of Devers and the other whistlblowers, go to the indiegogo/marinelandsite, and follow him on twitter @walruswhisperer.

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“The Boy and the Fox: From Beating to Eating Animals” ~ John Sanbonmatsu

This text is an excerpt from the Introduction to the book Critical Theory and Animal Liberation, edited by John Sanbonmatsu and published by Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2011, and appears by permission of the author and publisher.

fox beating

photo: Wallace Kirkland for Life magazine

One of my secret pleasures as a boy was

One of my secret pleasures as a boy was to sit for hours poring over my father’s collection of photography books. There, in The Family of Man, Days to Remember, and others, I saw disclosed the strange and varied wonder of the human condition, at least as it appeared to professional photojournalists at mid-century: children in Bombay lifting their smiling faces to the rain, Jackie Robinson, “first Negro in major league baseball,” the first television. There were also many disturbing pictures of grief, tragedy, and violence, indelible images of mob slayings and suicides, terrible industrial accidents and “the war in Indo-China.”

But of them all, one particular image haunted me the most: a group of Midwesterners standing in a circle in the snow, cheering on a young boy of about seven years old as he beat a fox to death with a baseball bat. The boy, with a bright smile, stands with his legs firmly planted, as though waiting for a pitch that never comes. The fox, crouched, tongue lolling, exhausted almost to the point of death, gazes vacantly, a look of hopelessness or resignation visible in his pinched face. Then, dark against the blood-spattered snow, one sees the small, broken bodies of two other foxes, already dead. But what stands out most in my mind are the rosy-cheeked men (and a few women) in their winter clothes, standing shoulder to shoulder or kneeling in the snow to form a tight cordon of death around boy and fox. All of them are grinning. And it is this last detail, of ordinary human beings taking delight in the torture of a powerless individual, an animal, that still troubles me the most.

girl with dead fox

Wallace Kirkland for Life magazine

Many of us have encountered similar images, read similar accounts, of public spectacles in which atrocity has mixed incongruously with joy. What is it about the human condition that induces otherwise ordinary people to murder the powerless, whether human or nonhuman, with such evident pleasure? Keep Reading… 

Source: Free From Harm

Raja – The Innocent Elephant Held Captive By Angry Palm Oil Growers — Dies




Photo credit: Ecologist Film Unit (Ulet Ifansasti) and/or Elephant Family:


[NOTE:  This piece got thousands of hits on the day the story about RAJU (note the “u”) was first published in the international media (7/8/2014) — and still gets more daily.


BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT RAJU!  It’s about Raja, because many are apparently looking for stories about RAJU (note the different spelling; with a “u” not an “a” at the end) the 50 year old captive elephant who supposedly cried after finally being rescued after a life of torture, abuse and imprisonment.  That particular punishingly sad story for 50 years, but with an uplifting ending, can be found here:

But this is a different, yet equally sad elephant story about similarly-named RAJA]


This is such a tragic, heartbreaking and maddening story. Weeks ago, the Ecologist Film Unit, accompanied by the NGO Elephant Family, was documenting the “environmental genocide”…

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States must demonstrate respect for wolves before assuming management

Exposing the Big Game

letter to the editor

I was very troubled by your (June 18) editorial supporting the delisting of wolves in the lower 48.

Your editorial mentions that wildlife groups worry this could lead to the extermination of wolves in many states, and that concern isn’t unfounded. It is, in fact, supported by recent events in the form of hunting seasons in states such as Idaho and Wyoming and of course, Montana. The widespread hostility of these popular hunting states toward the wolf as a “trophy animal” and the alleged “sportsman” that are eager to simply kill the wolf is appalling. Barely on the cusp of recovery, wolves are killed for the sole purpose of a pelt, a rug or a taxidermy prize. Forty years of protection for endangered species leads to this? What a travesty.

And let’s not forget the fragile border of Yellowstone National Park in Montana, and the…

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