$35.00 for this?!?!

…That’s how much money I spent for this [see photo below].   I know I said that I disconnect on weekends but I just had to tell someone that I just paid $35.00 for a bottle of pure Grade B Mutha F*cking syrup!  I must have been outside my head!  Yeesh!

$35.0 worth of pure Grade B Mutha F*cking SYRUP!

So why did I buy such expensive syrup? There’s a story there, and not a very good one.  I am planning on doing the Master Cleanse.  1.) when I moved, I happened upon the book about the Master Cleanse — a book I bought ages ago but never tried; and 2.) As I read through Bonzai’s retired blog, I see that she has done the The Master Cleanse. Well, if my idol BA can do it, well so can’t I. Shaaaa! Right.  My plan was kick off The Master Cleanse (heretofore: TMC) today, Saturday, October 20. However, when I woke up this morning I realized there is no way in H-E_double hockey sticks I was giving up coffee. Not today, oh hell no!  I did, however, mix up some TMC and drank it down before my coffee. I had a 2nd glass about 2 hours after my coffee. Granted, it’s not quite the same. The core basics of any cleanse/fast  is to ixnay on the caffeine — easier said than done when you are a coffee addict like me. Another thing dawned on me. I work long ass days in an office, with other people. How the hell am I going to pull off a cleanse/fast while commuting and working with other humans? How????

I will admit, I’m long overdue for a cleanse. I haven’t done a fast since 2005 – yah, it’s been that long.  Sometimes I do mini-weekend fasts where I subsist on my Mediclear (Dr. Prescribed) but I haven’t done a real honest to goodness clean-out-the-ole-bowels-cleanse and it is too long overdue (notwithstanding the 2 surgeries I had in 2010 that required me to do a bowel cleanse drinking that oh-so-nasty GoLitely stuff. YUCK!).

I realize there are groups of people out there who do not believe in fasting or a cleanse. You either believe or you don’t. I’m a believer.  All these so-called experts say we should eat 6 small meals every 3 hours. And yet lately, every where I turn, I seem to be seeing articles by experts saying people are gaining weight as a result of eating every 3 hours.  Why? because they don’t know what a snack or a small meal  looks like. Furthermore, what may be a snack to me, is a meal to you or vice-versa. How do we define *snack* and/or a *small meal*? It would look different to each person, right?

Back in my mid-20s (the 90s)  I was into bodybuilding. I trained with a guy and everything. He taught me how to eat so as to strip the fat from my body, while building muscle.  I kid you not, I looked freakin’ AWESOME! People would stop me on the street and comment.  I felt good about how I looked. Now ask me how I felt? In a word: Awful.  All that protein, and so little carbs, made me one unhappy woman. I ate more egg whites and chicken than any human should (I had given up red meat/pork in 1986).  I lived that lifestyle for 2-3 years and couldn’t maintain it. It didn’t suit me. Here’s the thing: A lot of time has passed since my body building days —  I’m 45 years old, so that’s how much time has passed.  I’ve always eaten a balanced diet but no *diet* has ever made me feel as good as a vegan *diet*. With that said, the other reason I feel so darn good is because I’m not constantly throwing food down my throat. I love that feeling that hunger gives me. I especially love the feeling I get when  it’s 2 pm in the afternoon and the last meal I had was the night before.  The only way I can explain is I feel euphoric when I go long periods without food.  People I know have come down on me about this. They say I’m ruining my metabolism. Perhaps. Let me say this. My friend who is a Marine said that during his training, the recruits are purposely kept underfed so as to keep them “sharp”.  He said the last thing you want is a platoon of overstuffed, bloated, Marines suffering from a food coma.

Now lets talk about my Italian father. He only eats 3 meals a day. He eats at the same time every day and he never eats between meals.  Consequently, my father has never had a weight issue. He is forever commenting that we Americans eat too much and too often and eat the wrong foods —  foods we deem healthy —  he deems as unnecessary borderline junk (like granola).

Also…

Back in 2005, I worked with a French Pastry Chef, who like my father, never ate between meals – never. She also did not subscribe to the “eat every 3 hours” philosophy.  In her words, “If you eat every 3 hours, you’re never hungry and your never satisfied.”  I never once heard her complain about her weight or her body.

Recently I read an article about this very topic.  The writer who was the guinea pig for the article was trying to lose weight. She was working with a nutritionist who did not believe in the eat-every-3-hours-philosophy either. The nutritionist asked the “writer/guinea pig” when was the last time she felt actual hunger.  The nutritionist wanted this woman to go all day without food. She could have as much clear liquid as she wanted: herb tea, diluted juices, etc… but she could not have  solid  food.  The writer thought she would lose her mind. The nutritionist  did tell the writer that she could call her any time, for support, especially if she thought she was going to give in to her hunger and eat something. As the writer chronicled her experience, she realized she did not, in fact,  know what real true honest to goodness hunger felt like.  The writer was assured that the body knows what it is doing and the feeling of hunger will pass if she would allow it to. Sure enough, to the writer’s surprise, the hunger passed and she honestly couldn’t believe it.  She was then taught to eat only when she is hungry and to learn to manage going without food for extended periods.  It wouldn’t be as detrimental as she had been led to believe.  In the end, the writer lost weight and it didn’t require a fancy program – she cut out the snacks and ate 3 meals a day versus 6.

I realize this post has become larger in scope than I originally planned when I first sat down to complain about my recent purchase of $35.00 maple syrup. So allow me to wrap up this rant by asking, when was the last time you felt true honest to goodness hunger? If you cannot recall, try fasting and see how you feel, you might actually like it. I know I do.

Until then, your’s truly,

GiRRL_Earth, $35.00 poorer with hopes of having a super clean body.  😉